Ahhhhhhhh!!!!!... Kuso, kuso, kusooooooo!!!!... *pant, pant*...

Bah!... I'm sooo in a destructive mood, I'd punch anyone who'd dare to rub me the wrong way these few days =.=""... I'm going to have a competition in two days time, and NONE of my so-called FRIENDS are willing to lend me a hand, much less moral support... Right now our team lacks two participants, and those whom I called gave me the lamest excuse I could've think of... One said, "Busy", yet have the guts to ask what competition... I can almost hear the, "NO" coming out by the time she said, "BUSY"... Another said, "Saye mesyuarat pon tak pergi, takkan nak masuk pertandingan?" (I don't even go to meetings, why should I participate in a competition?)... Come on, get real!!... This is not "School Days" anymore, it's our "Varsity Era", for God's sake... True, academic is important, no doubt about that, but it's through co-curricular activities all that we've learned theoretically are practically tested... Our communication skills, perceptions, critical thinking skills, and most importantly, teamwork... All this are not tested in an exam hall... Mattaku, this is what I hated most about Malaysia's exam-oriented education system... Bleargh, I'm sooo not going to talk to anyone after the competition, regardless whether I win or lose... Zettai ni *pouts*...

Neways, lots have happened in the past few days... Got my digikame a fortnight ago, and even became one of the facilitators for my High School's motivation camp... Okashii na, for someone like me to be a motivator XD... And last Saturday, went to Bon Odori Festival (and got lost during the festival, too >_<)... Seeing sooo many people wearing yukata makes me wanted to go to Japan more... Need the money first, though >_<... Will definitely go to Bon Odori next year, alone, that is... Not going to tag Shinta-kun and Habu-chan along anymore... How could they not enjoy the festival... Habu-chan even said that it's BORING =.='''''... The next day, went out to see Kaede, since I didn't get to see her in her costume... And suprise, suprise... Our famous lovebird is there too (Aiko and Chris, who else)... It's my first time seeing them (Aiko is getting a bit chubby, and Chris is sooooo hilarious... Maybe I should "rampas" him from Aiko XD)... And later the next day, chatted with Ten and Aiko... Ten listened on my singing, and said that I still have a long way to go... Chatted with him for quite some time, too... He's sure a nice guy, but he'd be nicer if he could work out his facial expression...

I've been watching a lot of animes lately... Getbackers, Trigun, Azumanga Daioh, etc... Getbackers somehow touched me... I see people yearning for a place they belong to, and found someone they belong to along with that they seek... As in, someone who accepts you as you are... Even the sissy-ish Kazuki... I know this might sound pathetic, but although it's just an anime, I envy them so much... To have someone who'd be there in all situation, who acknowledges your existence, I have none of those kind of friends... I'm still looking for the place and person that I belong to...  People do say that I've got lots of friends already, but to what extend?... I had a conversation with my sister concerning this, and she said something that somewhat gave me a ray of hope... Then again, I'm too tired to hope anymore... Hoping just makes it even more painful... the sadness of sorrow of being lonely, I wonder if I'd ever find someone who'd willingly share them with me... Maybe I'm destined to ease other people's sadness and sorrow, yet I have to shoulder mine on my own... The thought of that makes me want to cry, yet my tears have long dried... Ano ne, Kaede-chan... I really hope that someday I'll find that person, whom I belong to, kare ka kanojo ka, it doesn't matter... As long as I belong to that person... Demo ne, are there really any at all?...